Ghosts of War- Part II: Orphan
by Fettkat
Summary: Part two of the Ghosts of War series. In which Ben Skywalker realizes some very important things while paying a belated bedside visit to two people he came very close to losing.


_**[ Uber-angst continues! Part II of the Ghosts of War mini-series. This is the final part.]**_

It was finally Jag who agreed to take him. With the war just over, his father had finally succumbed to his grief, and his Uncle Han and Aunt Leia were having a rough time, what with losing their last son and helping Jaina recover from her trauma as it was. For the first time in his life, his uncle had wearily shaken his head and declined him a ride. And so it came down to Jag, newly and reluctantly appointed Head of State of the Imperial Remnant, to wangle out just enough time for a quick ferrying trip to the new Jedi base on Shedu Maad for a needful if belated bed-side visit.

"Thanks for doing this for me, Jag."  
The voice from the co-pilot's seat was quiet and grave. Jag looked over at him. Ben Skywalker sat, moodily gazing out into space, not even bothering to assist with the controls. He knew Jag was more than capable of handling a shuttle himself.  
"No problem," he replied kindly but could no longer withhold his curiosity.  
"I didn't know you and they were close."  
A faint flicker of guilt passed over Ben's face, which had grown to seem far too mature these days, still startling Jag sometimes to look at him.  
"Should have been closer," he mumbled.  
Jag felt uncomfortable in continuing to question him, so he decided to give the boy his space for a while.

When Ben had come to the Solos with his agenda, Jag, with them at the time, had been surprised to say the least. Ben wanted to pay a visit to the Solusars, slowly healing in the hastily created medical facility in the base on Shedu Maad, from the grievous wounds they had received at the hands of Jacen's deranged emissary, GAG Major Salle Serpa, to hold the Academy hostage. That entire scene had been a little unusual for a stranger to the family to witness. Ben had been uncharacteristically hesitant, but restless at the same time, in requesting for a favour from his aunt and uncle. The Solos' eyes had dimmed at the mention of his intent and Leia had hugged him. Jag had noticed she did that a lot more often of late. As if to make up, in some unspoken way, for his tragic loss of his mother and her loss of her son. But they had been unable to comply and Ben's shoulders had sagged in despair. Realizing this probably meant a lot to the family, Jag had stepped forward to offer his services as pilot and been gratefully accepted.

"I was there, you know. When it happened."  
Ben remained silent.  
"They were very brave, protecting the younglings. But it all happened so fast. None of us had expected the Sergeant to actually dare to attack two Jedi Masters! Jaina and I were unarmed. Had we run to their rescue, the Academy might have fallen that day. I'm sorry."  
Jag shook his head with all the regret that came from hindsight after battle.  
Ben nodded slowly.  
"They were all the parents I had for two years of my life."  
His voice had become, if possible, even quieter and Jag could hear desperation and remorse there as well.  
"And then, when Mom and Dad returned after the Vong War, I nearly forgot them. I turned away from the Academy, I chose to go with Jacen instead. But they always stayed with the younglings. They would have died for them.  
When I had to go back for a while, during the Killik Crisis, I remember Master Kam, Master Tionne, they begged me to return for good, but my sight was always out there. I wanted to travel, to fight, not to stay and learn..."  
He lapsed again into his brooding silence and didn't speak anymore for the rest of the flight.

Jag told him he would wait for him by the ship, after they landed on Shedu Maad. Ben nodded and disappeared for a while into the jungle outside. When he returned, Jag saw he had gathered a bunch of colourful wildflowers and had tied them in a clumsy bouquet. He watched the boy walk resolutely in the direction of the medward and disappear once again round a corner. Leaning his head against the hatchway, Jag closed his eyes. For some inexplicable reason, the flight had left him weary to his bones.

* * *

He slowed as he approached their room with trepidation, his steps echoing ominously in the sombre silence of the hospital wing. He came to a stop outside the door, pausing to gather up his courage to walk in, unsure of what he would see.

They lay together in the room, the one meant for those recuperating from intensive care, under the effects of heavy sedation, their beds side by side with a small space in between. Ben's legs suddenly felt very weak. He walked up slowly between the beds to lay his small gift of flowers on the bedside table and noticed that his hand was shaking as he did so. He couldn't tear his eyes from the two patients, swivelling his horrified gaze between them. The Force felt cold here, devoid of the warm presences he should be feeling in the company of Jedi Masters and the cloying smell of bacta hung in the air like a shroud. His heart sank under the weight of dread as he looked upon their pallid faces.

Master Kam Solusar's face was gaunt and fatigued, coated with the sickly shine of overlong exposure in a bacta tank. His frame was thinner than Ben ever remembered seeing it before and the cheekbones on his face stood out like crags. A breath mask was attached to his nose and mouth and only the faint mist within indicated that this wasn't a corpse he was looking at.

Tionne's stretched form nearly brought out a gasp from the young man standing over them. The light sheet that covered her draped horrifyingly over the stumps where one of her arms and legs should have been. Ben felt his vision clouding over with tears and his legs finally give way beneath him as he sank down heavily on the floor. He took Tionne's good hand in his own and bent his head over it in contrition as he allowed the tears flow. The silence washed over the three figures in the room, punctuated intermittently by the drip-drip of IV's and the quiet sniffing of a young man's heartfelt grief.

His 'Teeny', his 'KamKam'! He wanted nothing more than to be able to run into the safety of their arms, as he once had been in the habit of doing as a toddler. But where could he expect safety in a galaxy torn apart?  
Had he let it come to this? No. It had been Jacen. It was all kriffing Jacen's kriffing fault! But, Ben heard the voice of conscience whisper in his ear, hadn't it been him who had advised Jacen to actually make a few attacks on the Academy's inmates to score maneuvering points with the Jedi? He bit his lip, trying in vain to stifle the wave of anger and self-loathing that threatened to engulf him. Jacen had destroyed them. Destroyed them all! Mom, Dad, Uncle Han, Aunt Leia and now even 'Teeny' and 'KamKam'. All the parental figures in his life had been damaged by Jacen. The Jacen he'd once revered. A sob bubbled in his throat. He lowered his head into his knees, as his shoulders shook uncontrollably.  
Jacen had left him _orphaned_! And he wasn't ready. Not ready by far to be orphaned!

It took Ben a few minutes to notice the gentle pressure on his hand, the feeble wave of comfort trying to touch his mind. His head shot up immediately and he stared at the prone figure of Master Tionne Solusar, stricken.  
"T-Teeny?" he gasped.  
Again a gentle squeeze. Her eyelids remained closed, her breathing was as low and even as it had been when he'd entered. There was no indication that she had regained consciousness. But there was also no doubt in Ben's mind that she was trying to reach out to him in the Force. Hastily he scrambled up, debating whether or not to call a medical droid.  
Another Force touch on his mind. Gently, it said _No._ It just wanted him to stay awhile. Ben seated himself on the edge of Tionne's bed, not having relinquished the hold on her hand. He leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. Then he reached over and took one of Master Kam's calloused hands in his other one. Instantly, he felt a second Force touch, surprised, but reassuring.

He sat there for a long time, the two hands held in his, not speaking a word but communing through the Force, letting them know how grateful he would always be to them, how very sorry he was that he had never visited earlier, that he had turned away from their guidance, that he had let Jacen do this to them...  
The Force essences of the two Masters combined to let him know he shouldn't blame himself. This was not his burden to carry. It was alright...

When the medical attendant came to gently interrupt him and tell him it was time to go, he nodded. He looked at their faces, unchanged through his entire visit, and gave a small smile. He reached out one last time in the Force, to bid them goodbye, and make a promise. A promise that nearly losing them had taught him an important lesson. He would never be so remiss again. He would remember them always and come to visit more often.

Jag noticed the change in the boy as he marched out of the base. Though his cheek was stained heavily with the streaks of dried tears, he could tell that the turmoil in his soul had been eased somewhat. He didn't say anything, only gripped his shoulder and nodded. Ben smiled back, grateful for his understanding. They flew back in silence.

**THE END**

**_[ A/N: A big thank you to Jedi1952 who had proposed a plot bunny with Kam and Tionne's relationship with Ben a long time ago, but I hadn't really been able to come up with anything till now. It had kept niggling me, though, until I wrote this! Hope you enjoyed!]_**


End file.
